Space to be

This is an important point that is often overlooked. You want to do many things, but you can’t seem to get started. You don’t know why. Then you realised the past conditioning where you are brought up did not allow you any space for action or self-expression. All your life you have been impacted by your dad’s indifference or your mom’s reluctance. When you were young, nobody listened to you, so you felt lonely and dejected. You were lost. And you were determined to change all that. And unconsciously you grow up to become a resigned and cynical person. In order to be a good child, you allowed yourself to be controlled by the whim and fancy of others eventhough your felt your personal space intruded upon. you felt ashamed and incomplete, and powerless as the two main characters you grew up with dominated your life, denying you the satisfaction of your own personal well-being. And you don’t even realise why you encountered so much inner resistance whenever you wanted to do something good for your own. It is like a devil within, a self-saboteur that will ruin you opportunities and relationships time and again. And for years you felt lost, confused, defenseless, and you do not know why. Then one day while driving to work in your battered car, you realise your outlook in life has been shaped by your dad and mom’s behaviour which you have resisted when young. In short, you do not have your own space to be. You are now living, and reacting to life through their eyes. And you don’t really live your own life. Then you realise you have no space to be, all their unhappiness and sadness in life were channelled to you unconsciously. And you have been living against it. So as part of them is in you and you are against it. The outcome is that you don’t have no space to be at all. In fact like they say, you have not even arrived. Think for a second. all the good qualities you embrace, all that you ever wanted to be, all the attributes that will make you a strong and an effective person have not been expressed until now because you have been living in their shadows and the constraints of their outlook. You’ve got to regain back the space. Urgently. How? Stop doing what you do. Be still. Create a space for yourself. Enjoy that space. Go back and just watch TV. Give yourself a treat. Buy yourself a good dinner. Be with good company. Just relax and enjoy the stars. And then imagine you are the star in your own soccer league, you now have the ball at your feet, and you can take it wherever you want. But this playing field belongs to you and no one else. Start by reclaiming back your space little by little. You cannot build your house until you have cleared the land. Remember this is your life. You need to find your own space to grow and do the things you like.